TikTok Star Cayydences Doesn’t Like Leaving His House Now ’Cos People Stalk Him; Opens Up About Childhood Trauma

Cavin Chua, or cayydences, as he is better known on TikTok is a Gen Z icon. The 23-year-old saw his stock rise gradually as he danced, ranted, and amused his way to superstardom on the social media app. He has now amassed over 420,000 followers and 34.1mil likes in just a little over two years.

And in this episode of Class 95 DJ Jean Danker’s podcast, R U Okay?, Cavin gets introspective about his journey thus far. R U Okay?, now in its third season, centres around conversations about mental health and wellness.

Though Cavin did share on the podcast that he prefers the label “TikTok personality” over “TikTok star”, for us over at 8days.sg, anyone with a following as impressive as Cavin’s is pretty much a star by default.

Cavin’s always been pretty much of an open book on TikTok, letting followers in on everything — from how he has a missing front tooth, to outrageous comedy skits and dance videos.

But in R U Okay?, we see a side to the content creator that’s usually masked by his larger-than-life TikTok persona.

8days.sg spoke to Cavin to find out more.

Describing himself as someone who is “actually very reserved and quiet in nature”, Cavin revealed that, contrary to what many think, he’s “very particular” about what he shares online.

“For example, things like internal disputes or friendships [issues], I would not capitalise on these,” he says, sounding a lot more restrained than he does on TikTok.

On the podcast, Cavin revealed: “[Content creation has] always been a passion and hobby for me. I think growing up, I just didn’t really have that outlet to express my creativity, so I turned to content creation a lot.”

He went on to share more about his tough childhood, as the youngest child in a family where the parental figures were arguing almost constantly, and how it resulted in a fair bit of trauma.

The content creator gets real about how he embraced the idea of ‘self concept’ to muster up confidence, as well as how his destructive childhood and broken family affected him in the video embedded below.

Cavin goes on to say to 8days.sg: “I already went through a lot of trauma, mental struggles and everything and I’m somehow still alive and able to function most of the time.”

In R U Okay?, Cavin, who described his dad as a “compulsive liar and cheater”, revealed that he used to sleep in between his parents as a child, and would hear every single argument they had.

He also recounted a particularly explosive argument they had, where his dad was “throwing hangers” at his mum, who works as a teacher. The argument eventually culminated into Cavin’s grandmother getting involved, and threatening to kill herself, as well as Cavin and his brother, who’s three years older.

Cavin goes on to tell us: “So, my thinking is that if I’m still able to do this, [since] I’m alive and kicking and successful, so why not make something out of it, something that could be helpful to someone younger.”

It makes perfect sense given his strong following online. But of course, TikTok fame isn’t all rainbows and sunshine.

Cavin, who revealed that he initially started TikTok as a way for him to share his dance videos, says he can’t go out these days without being recognised by someone.

Even with a cap or sunglasses on, he gets recognised by followers almost instantly.

“Some days, I don’t want to leave the house ‘cos of this,” he says, adding that he’s had people stalking him home, and even chasing him down in grocery stores.

Still, he’s taking it in his stride, and has just one last thing to share with everyone.

Referencing a short movie by American filmmaker Anna Akana, When I’ve Wanted To Die, he says: “The only thing guaranteed when we’re born are death and change. When it comes to death, why rush? We all get there sooner or later. Why not wait for the next wave of change?”

“It’s a video that I watched a lot,” he says, adding: “For us humans, our life is not long but, it is long enough to mess up, make mistakes and experience pain. Life is just nice, not long enough to dread, but long enough to appreciate it, to make mistakes, and short enough to realise it. There is always time. If I gave up at 16 or 17, I won’t be living this life that I have now.”

Photos: R U Okay/YouTube, Cavin Chua