These Malaysian men have kept their friendship strong for over half a century

Retired naval officer Jaafar Sidek Mohd Piah, 77, looks forward to Wednesday mornings. It is on that day that he gathers with his group of friends for breakfast at an Indian restaurant in Petaling Jaya, Selangor.

Over roti canai, thosai and teh tarik, these senior citizens’ conversation and laughter would fill the air and Jaafar says this weekly meet-up is the highlight of his week.

“Our friendship began in 2013, right after I suffered a stroke. My recovery was slow and naturally, I felt quite downcast. One day, my friend and golf buddy, the late Terry Gomez, came over and decided to brighten my day with a breakfast outing in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, Kuala Lumpur. That thoughtful gesture really lifted my spirit.

“Gradually, we started having more of our golfing friends to join us for breakfast and over the years, the group has grown to nearly 25 members. Our group’s youngest member is 66,” says Jaafar in an interview in Kampung Tunku, PJ.

(From left) Santokh, Jeff and Siew say they get along very well.

These friends are of different races and backgrounds; some are from the legal fraternity and the armed forces, while others are from education and medical fields.

Jaafar, fondly known as Jeff among his friends, jokes: “We have an interesting name for our group. We call ourselves ‘The Mosquitoes’ not ‘The Musketeers’ because we love to playfully irritate each other. There are over 20 ‘mosquitoes’ in our group, so you can imagine how noisy it is when we get together.”

While scrolling through the image gallery on his smart phone, the jovial father of three comes across a few of his old photos, some dating back to the late 1960s.

“One of my oldest friends in this group is naval Captain (Rtd) Siew Koi Seng. We’ve known each other since 1967, when we both worked at the Malaysian border in Woodlands, Singapore. We continued to work together when we were stationed at Cherbourg Naval Base in Normandy, France, in 1972,” recalls Jeff, who is also grandfather to eight kids.

Over coffee and roti canai, The Mosquitoes talk about everything under the sun.

Siew, 79, chips in: “Jeff eventually left the navy and joined the corporate world, but we kept in touch. We both attended each other’s weddings many, many years ago.”

The International Day of Friendship is celebrated next Tuesday, on July 30, and these senior citizens are great examples of friends who have developed a bond lasting decades.

Siew says the essence of a lasting friendship lies in compassion, open communication and mutual respect. These qualities, he adds, forge a deep understanding that withstands life’s challenges while celebrating its triumphs.

“It all boils down to understanding, offering support and respecting one another. Over the years, we’ve faced countless life events together, from sharing joyous moments during our children’s weddings to the sorrow of losing friends or family members,” shares the father of two.

A multi-racial group

Friendships and solid human connections make life more engaging and meaningful, and this is exactly how joining The Mosquitoes has benefitted retired police officer Santokh Singh, 87.

The late Gomez (centre) was the driving force behind the creation of The Mosquitoes in 2013. Photo: Jaafar Sidek Mohd PiahBorn and raised in Kuching, Santokh and his wife moved to PJ in 2014 to live with their son, Sanjiv Singh, 52, a lawyer who incidentally lives across the street from Jeff.

Leaving his hometown and starting over in a different city wasn’t easy for Santokh. He was in his late 70s then and making friends wasn’t an easy undertaking.

“When I first arrived in PJ, I didn’t have many friends so I spent most of my time at home. Sanjiv knew I was bored and that I missed my life in Kuching,”

“One day, he spoke to Jeff about bringing me along on one of the group’s outings. Since then, my life has completely changed,” says the father of three, who has been part of the group for nearly a decade.

And through this group, Santokh has managed to reconnect with his primary schoolmate, retired former Chief Judge of Sabah and Sarawak Tan Sri Steve Shim Lip Kiong, 84. Both of these men have been friends since 1959.

For Santokh, their weekly breakfast provides him with a sense of camaraderie and friendship, where these men can share stories, enjoy each other’s company and support one another through life’s ups and downs.

Sim (left) and Santokh have been friends since the 1950s.

“We meet for two to three hours each week. We chat about everything from family and travel to politics and our 1960s childhoods. We joke, laugh, and just tremendously enjoy our conversations,” he says.

“I really look forward to the brunch session every Wednesday,” says the grandfather of four, adding that the group even had a special excursion to Kajang for satay, via the MRT.

The seniors often carpool to the restaurant and they have a WhatsApp group where they share educational videos, jokes and photos.

Jeff has also “recruited” a few members through his Facebook page. But he admits that he can be a bit strict about who he adds to the group.

‘
You must mix with people, no matter what age you are,’ says Jagdish.“We are an English-speaking, ‘vintage’ group who are patient and tolerant. While our discussions are candid, we respect all views and do not tolerate derogatory comments about race or religion. If a new member doesn’t adhere to our unwritten rules, then I will remove him from the group.”

The group’s oldest member, retired teacher Jagdish Chand Bandhari, 87, was roped in by Jeff. They knew each other from the golf club they were both members of.

“I’m retired and I enjoy (the) company of others. I need someone to talk to. What’s good is we joke a lot and we are a bunch of good guys. When I was sick a few months ago, they all came to visit,” Jagdish says.

“When my wife passed away, Jeff and Santokh were with me at the crematorium; they stayed with me and provided comfort during one of the most difficult times of my life,” says the soft-spoken Jagdish, fondly known as Jag.

The grandfather of five says having friends is very important as it keeps people, especially senior citizens connected and engaged.

“You must mix with people, no matter what age you are. Friends will keep you happy and prevent you from feeling lonely. They bring joy, support, and a sense of belonging into your life,” he adds. We’ve faced countless life events together, from sharing joyous moments during our children’s weddings to the sorrow of losing friends or family members.”