Things only parents of twins understandjessie tan
India loses more than a million lives each year to toxic air, various studies have shown. Many Indian cities top global pollution lists as enforcement of laws is lax. Every mother’s journey is different and unique and no one knows your child better than you.
But there is something about being a parent of multiples that bonds you to other parents managing two (or more babies) as you recognise each other’s invisible battle scars that other parents just won’t understand.
As most parents of twins will relate, a twin mum once said, “Being a parent of twins is like running a marathon you didn’t train for.” As a mother of twins, I couldn’t have said it any better myself.
Here are a few things only us mothers of twins do and understand:
Forever answering the same questions
Granted, this only happens when your twins are babies or toddlers, but be prepared for the same set of questions on repeat every time you leave home (I imagine this is something that celebs feel but with the paparazzi):
- Are they twins? Is perhaps the most common one, even if they are dressed identically, look identical and are sitting side by side in a twin stroller. Even if you manage to avoid that question for the first minute, as soon as you tell someone they are the same age, the twin question will present itself. I was personally always very tempted to say, “Just the one on the left is mine, I found the other one in the park and decided to bring him home.”
- Do twins run in your family? I would be a millionaire by now if I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question. To answer, most people don’t realise that only fraternal twins are genetic and can run in families; identical twins are completely luck of the draw and can’t be predicted. Were they IVF or natural conception? Err, a little intrusive, but it seems strangers have no qualms asking such personal questions.
- Do you have a favourite child? Seriously??
- You mean they are developing differently? Err yes. They are two different people, so they might not grow at the same time or reach the same milestones at the same time. That doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with one of them.
Twins can’t share everything
Having one child can be expensive enough already, but having two at the same time is definitely heavier on the wallet, as hand-me-downs and sharing essential items isn’t always possible in this case.
Only mums of twins will understand that paying double for buying exactly the same toy or set of clothes is justified. Trust us, buy one-get-one-free gets us super excited, and bulk buying becomes the shopping norm.
‘Is there a twin discount?’
Even though the answer is usually no, most of us have gone through baby and toddlerhood asking for twin discounts.
As mentioned above, buying two of almost everything is not cheap (hello nappies and formula), and most times seems like a waste when the babies will outgrow them very soon.
Most stores are kind enough to offer a small discount at least for the second item though, so it’s worth asking.
You will likely fail at having separate quality time with each child
Most mums with one child complain that they haven’t been able to do anything all day, let alone have the time to shower and cook. Imagine all that with two when you literally don’t have a free hand to do anything.
So spending any form of quality time with the babies, and that too one-on-one is a sheer dream for mums of twins, at least until the toddler stage.
Even then, mums of twins run the risk of being labelled as favouring one child over the other, so you’re always trying to spend equal time with both of them.
‘The twins’ is not their name
Even though twins form a “unit”, they are two little individuals and deserve to be treated as separate individuals.
Constantly comparing them to each other and lumping them together at the same time is not fair to them, so having to remind other people that they have their own identities can be a little challenging.
Other parents with twins become your lifeline
It’s true what they say that your social circle starts to change after having children, and that you naturally tend to hang out with parents of other children.
But hanging out with parents of other twins is literally a life support, especially when your twins are babies. Mums of single babies and children at different ages and stages are great, but they just won’t understand the little things that you go through on a daily basis with two.